Who Ain't Now, Part 1

In lieu of ESPN's Who's Now crapatition, and with other blogs picking up the idea and giving it their own spin, I've decided to start the "Who Ain't Now" competition in mockery of ESPN. Here's how it works. According to ESPN, in order to be "Now" you have to excel on the field and have media hype off the field. In my personal "Who Ain't Now" competition, I'll focus on those athletes, teams and other sports paraphanelia that the media cares way too much about and never actually does anything on the field.


Unlike the ESPN Who's Now brackets, which divided it's 32 athletes up into 4 more or less random brackets, I've divided mine up into the Players Bracket, the Teams Bracket, the Leagues Bracket and the Media Bracket. I won't reveal all the brackets at once, but look for updates throughout the next few weeks. At least until training camp starts.


Today we start with the Players Bracket.


PLAYERS BRACKET


1) Terrell Owens vs. 8) Roger Clemens

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Two of the highest paid players at their positions line up head-to-head in this first matchup in the Players Bracket. Sure TO led the league in touchdowns last year, but he also led the league in dropped balls. However, he only had 3 of his 13 touchdowns against divisional opponents last season. Additionally, TO only had 2 receptions for 26 yards and 0 touchdowns in the Cowboys playoff loss to Seattle last season. TO made over $10 million last season, making him the 4th highest paid reciever. What's worse, is the media follows him around like someone chasing their dog that just ran away.


Clemens on the other hand, back for his 24th season in baseball, is 2-4 since his midseason return with a 4.2 ERA. His 2 wins have come against the Pirates and Twins. Not exactly stellar victories there. Most recently, Clemens gave up 5 runs in 5 1/3 innings against Tampa Bay on July 13. This season his losses have come against the Mets, Rockies, Orioles and Devil Rays. Of those, only the Mets have a winning record. Clemens' drama all started with the All-Star tribute to him in Houston, after which he blew the game in the first inning by giving up 7 runs.

While Clemens has choked on the field lately, the media drama is mainly focused on his off-season decision. On the other side, the media drama around TO is almost constant during the season and during the off-season. TO also doesn't come through on the field, leading the league in dropped balls and doing virtually nothing in the playoffs. Don't forget walking out on the Eagles a few years ago, dancing on the star in Dallas, and pulling a Sharpie out of his shoe to autograph a football. TO takes this matchup because of the utter ridiculousness of everything he has done while still getting paid way too much money.

2) Alex Rodriguez vs. 7) Ray Lewis

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A-Rod, $22.7 million per year, 0 championships. Sure one day he may break the home run record, but is he the best all-around player in baseball? Nope. Look at players like Pujols and Ortiz. They put up solid numbers year in and year out and have done something A-Fraud has never done: won a championship. Plus since coming to the Yankees in 2004, he's hit 40+ home runs only once (not counting this year), a feat he achieved 6 consecutive seasons prior to joining the Bronx Bombers. His all-around hitting numbers such as total bases, batting average, runs, hits, on base percentage and slugging percentage all dropped since his move to the Big Apple. Try holding your tongue and saying Big Apple and you'll get an approximation of A-Rod's personality. A-Fraud hasn't hit a postseason home run since 2004 and is a combined 3 for 29 the last 2 seasons in 9 playoff games. Now I know A-Rod is having a year reminiscent of his time in Texas this year, but the Yankees are currently a .500 team and on the outside looking in at the playoff picture. Not exactly a team player.

On the other side of the coin we see someone who is such a team player, he doesn't even make tackles on his own. Ray Lewis, the best 3rd-man-to-the-ball tackler in NFL history is still followed around by the media like he is some kind of linebacker from heaven. Lewis got $5.5 million last year for doing basically nothing. Analyists will still argue that he is the best linebacker in the league. Not even close, he's not versatile like former teammate Adalius Thomas and doesn't have a pure form like Brian Urlacher. In the Ravens postseason loss to the Colts last year, Lewis had a grand total of 0 tackles. Oh yeah, and how could I forget: he shot someone.

So the question here is, who is more of an asshole? Ray Lewis shot someone, A-Fraud is the highest paid player in baseball and has never won a championship. Lewis has won a championship in possibly the worst Super Bowl ever when the Ravens beat the Giants. In a narrow decision by the panel of judges, A-Fraud advances due to his lack of actual production. Lewis may not actually make a whole lot of tackles, but his teammates back him up and make up for his slack. Unlike A-Fraud's who in spite of his good season, can't manage to win more games than they lose.

3) Chad Johnson vs. 6) Brett Favre


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This is another tough matchup. In one corner we have a player with the audacity to cover up his name on his uniform. Ocho Cinco led the league in recieving yards last year but only found the end zone 7 times. Johnson had 5 touchdowns in 2 weeks last season and then proceeded to have 0 over the last 6 weeks of the season. The last 3 weeks he had a combined 10 receptions for 122 yards, no TDs and a fumble. Not a clutch performance from the #1 reciever on a team trying to make the playoffs. Johnson had only 1 touchdown in 6 divisional games each of the last two seasons. Johnson's 3-touchdown game last season came against a Saints defense that was 30th in the league in passing touchdowns allowed.


In the other corner we have someone who is far past his prime and trying to stretch his carerr into another injury so that he can grab another Vicodin perscription before calling it quits. Additionally adding to Favre's place in the Who Ain't Now competition is his playing of the media every off-season into a soap opera-esque saga about whether or not he will return. Favre is holding back someone who has a lot of potential (Aaron Rogers) and could use some valuable game experience. The Favre-led Packers haven't had a winning record since 2004 going 12-20 over the last two seasons. Plus, the "fall" in the backfield that allowed Michael Strahan to break the sack record was totally classless.


This is a tough choice, but I have to look at players performance since entering the league. Favre has won a championship and Johnson has not. Additionally, during his 7 years in the league, the Bungals have only made the playoffs once (2005). Favre has made the playoffs 10 times in his 17 seasons, including the one championship. So which of these players is less clutch? Which one chokes more in key situations and has more media coverage than they deserve? The easy answer is Chad Johnson here. Favre exits the Who Ain't Now bracket sooner than he can say "I'll have my decision by next week."

4) Michael Vick vs. 5) Getting arrested


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This matchup may seem a bit redundant because Michael Vick has been arrested, but it's more like Michael Vick vs. Chris Henry, Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, et al. The media flocks to Vick, counting on him to do superhuman things week in and week out and scrutinizing him to no end when he doesn't perform. Vick has been a media doll lately with the whole illegal dog-fighting scandal. Since coming to Atlanta in 2001, the Falcons have only made the playoffs twice and have only won more than 10 games once. The Falcons overall record (playoffs included) since 2001 is a sub-.500 49-50-1. Not exactly Hall of Fame numbers from someone who's supposed to be a superstar quarterback. Granted Vick has faced injury throughout his career as well as off the field incidents involving his brother pulling a gun in a McDonalds, hiding pot in his water bottle and making an obscene gesture to the Falcons faithful.


On the other end we have athletes who get arrested. Now, I know this isn't any one player in particular, but it's a disgrace to the game that these players are setting a bad example. Their actions reflect the game that they play, whether they intend it to or not. Chris Henry, Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, Allen Iverson, Kobe Bryant...the list goes on. While Kobe is really the only "superstar" of the group, that doesn't excuse his actions any more than anyone elses. Setting bad examples and giving sports a bad name is basically the beef here. Of course they'll get media attention when arrested, but it's of the wrong kind. Watch ESPN. They always paint the athletes as the "good guy" and make it seem silly that they got arrested. On the field, well...they don't even deserve to be on the field. They're an embarrassment to the game. Would you be allowed back at your job in the office if you were arrested for drug traffiking? How about rape or conspiracy to murder? I didn't think so. Yet somehow because these people are athletes they're entitled to make more money than everyone and get endless "second chances." Props to Roger Goddell for stepping up and handing out some suspensions.


So who takes the cake here? Tough decision for the judges again. One guy versus a bunch of disgraces to the game? In a split decision, much like Vick's playoff record, the judges vote for the minor upset and vote the players getting arrested into the next round of the "Who Ain't Now" competition.


To recap the Players Bracket,


1) Terrell Owens def. 8) Roger Clemens


2) Alex Rodriguez def. 7) Ray Lewis


3) Chad Johnson def. 6) Brett Favre


5) Arrested players def. 4) Michael Vick


Tune in later for the highly competitive Teams Bracket.